


I'm sorry, why did it have to be like this?

by shadow_bright_shine



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst for everyone!, Billiam needed more development, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Mind Manipulation, Minor death, No Gore, One Shot, Other, Ranbutler-centric, Slight trigger warning, The red egg, Web Series: Tales from the SMP, everyone needs it, good for you?, hurt a bit of comfort, miss them already, not meant to be romantic but if you see it that way well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:56:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadow_bright_shine/pseuds/shadow_bright_shine
Summary: It wasn't his fault, he knew it wasn't. He had tried, he had tried so hard.It wasn't enough.
Relationships: None
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	I'm sorry, why did it have to be like this?

It wasn’t his fault. He knew it wasn’t his fault. He had tried to warn the guests the best he could. He had tried.   
It wasn’t enough.  
His master wasn’t cruel, he hadn’t always been like this. How had Billiam forgotten so quickly their friendship? He was no servant; he was his masters closest friend. Well, he had been once. He knew it was that horrible egg that had done this to his friend. It was no egg, it was a parasite, and he knew it. The man he knew was kind, he used his wealth to better the towns they would visit together. The vines had corrupted him. Twisted their way into his mind and hurt his friend. Billiam loved him, they had been inseparable since they were young. Now he was forced into silence. Those long nights he’d tried his best to combat the effects, painful, terrible nights. His friend’s screams had echoed through his head endlessly. He tried. He tried to save him. Poor Bill, he didn’t deserve this, he wasn’t supposed to get hurt. It was his duty. Protect his master with his life. 

Well, he did protect Billiam, he just didn’t do it for the right reasons anymore. “What was my name?” He whispered, trying to remember. It was just a matter of time before he too was claimed by the…egg’s lies. It had already begun; he knew it inside. That voice had tortured him for weeks now. It wasn’t his fault! He didn’t want to hurt anyone! Please, why was this his life now. Why was he now closing his eyes against the sight of his once beloved master sacrificing Sebastian. Sebastian, why hadn’t you stopped this, you knew something was wrong. His own drunken behavior had gotten them all killed. He tried to ignore the whispers, but even now, in the horror displayed before him could hear it. 

‘It won’t be so bad if you just let yourself forget. Billiam got what he wanted; you know what you want. We know what you want. Just give in, everything will be better once you stop caring about them. They don’t care about you anymore either. You saw them, they treated you like you were worthless.’

That wasn’t their fault! Oliver was an idiot, old and senile…Liaria oh Liaria why did you have to come to the party. She had tried to save him; she had been caught where she stood. Billiam killed Liaria, not him. James… James didn’t care about him. James cared about no one. 

Karl wasn’t real. 

‘Why didn’t anyone say anything in your favor? They abandoned you. We need someone to help us. You care for him, join him. We have offered such things before; we can do it again. If you miss who he was, you should join him. In here he is the same kind, loving man he was before. Just join us.’

He knew that was a lie. But it was so tempting. The idea, the idea of letting go of all the hurt he had inside himself. To finally get rid of all this pain, the suffering he had to go through every day. Maybe, he could let go and finally rest? Just for a short time? It might not be as bad as it seemed…

‘You know what you want.’

He just wanted his friend to be safe. He wanted Billiam to be free. This wasn’t something he needed to be a part of… but more people would die! They would be killed and consumed by this, this…

‘You can always change your mind. He misses you. We know the thoughts of all who join. He was trying to spare you by accepting his fate. It was the wrong choice; he sees that now. It is much better to be a part of us then outside.’

How could he abandon his friends, it was his fault. He had stabbed Sebastian, he had poisoned Oliver, he had watched Billiam murder Liaria in front of his own eyes. Everything inside of himself screeched in agony. It was his fault; he had done this. He was a murderer. It was all him, not Billiam, not whatever demonic hell-spawn lay before him. It was his fault. 

‘Blaming yourself causes nothing but pain. Let go, let go, be free. You don’t have to sicken yourself with these thoughts. We can give you peace.’  
He just wanted to see his friend again, not the dead eyes of a stranger wearing his body. He just wanted to rest. He was so tired…he couldn’t breathe. Was he even still in the room anymore? He couldn’t remember if his eyes were open. He was too afraid to try. Why was everything so wrong, why had this happened to them, why now? The floor beneath him should have been cold, but the only frozen thing now was him. 

“Please…” Billiam? “Please, you don’t need to hurt yourself. It hurts me too.” Billiam...

“I just want things to go back to before. I hate this, I hate what it did to you.” Was he speaking out loud? Did that matter? 

“I know. I hate this too.” The concern. It was his friend! “Please stop. You’ll bleed if you keep doing that.” a quiet voice edged in worry. “You can’t go on like this. It just hurts us both. Please, please I need someone else. I…” hesitation, fear.

Don’t say it. “Billiam-” 

“I’m terrified. I’m alone, I’m scared, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I need help.” No, why did he have to say it. Everything was confused and twisted and painful. He needed help. They needed help. How could he do anything anymore. He was useless without someone else. 

‘Help him, he needs you, he needs someone to guide him out of danger. That is what you were meant to do is it not? Accept it, do your duty as you have been wanting to do.’

“I just want you safe!” He was shouting, curling up. Billiam held him close, it was all too much. Make this end, please make this end. 

“I know, I know. I just want your pain to stop.” Sincerity, he was in pain too.

“If I go?” a whisper, desperate. 

“I’ll be there too.” A promise.

“Please.”


End file.
